Where do I go from here?

Is it possible that I only have fifteen days of high school left?  Only fifteen more days with my classmates I've known my whole life. With every day that passes my class and I get so excited because its one day closer to graduation. Sure I'm excited, but I have been having this sinking feeling in my gut. I don't want to start all over. I'm going to walk into a class of over two hundred, and not know a single individual. I just want my class of sixteen to last forever. I feel like most of them are my family, and I feel very special to have so many close friends. I still know that something more is supposed to come out of all of this. There are friendships that I will keep forever, and others that I feel could have been closer relationships. The not knowing of  what could have happened is what hurts me the most. Where do I go from here? How do I know everything is happening the way it should?

Don't dwell on the past. You must live every day to its full potential. There is no point in worrying about what you can't change. I need to remember that things always happen the way they are supposed to, even if I don't understand it all at the time.

Pieces of you

I feel like my heart is slowly breaking. I don't feel like its shattering, I just feel like certain pieces don't belong anymore. I think it's change. I don't like change. It means nothing in this world is permanent, and that is so scary. Sure things change for the better, but they can also change for the worst. Sometimes I just wonder if people truly change, or do we just start looking at them in a new light. When we see them in a new light, do they see us in a new light as well? I just want to know what he thinks of me. I feel like I've always kept him in my heart and mind ever since we stopped talking years ago. When he sees me on a daily basis, does he honestly not care that our friendship is no longer there? It hurts me to think he doesn't care. He has to care deep down, I know it. I feel like lately I've been giving little hints and signs that I want to be friends. I always would avoid him, and then senior year came and I didn't see the point of hiding from him anymore. I feel like we make a tiny step to regaining our friendship, and then just like that I am insecure about it all over agin. I just don't understand why I want him to accept me so bad. He is only one person.